Page 36 - TODAY magazine Issue 1 2021

writing
Before giving your child
a phone, discuss the rules with them, agree how and when they may use it and write them down. This should include everything from keeping it charged (their job) to providing help if they receive threatening or suspicious messages (your job). Then let both parties sign it
and treat it as a binding contract.
Parenting expert Nikki Bush has created a sample contract that is free to download.
YOUR FAMILY // HEALTH
Put it in
from KwaZulu-Natal. ‘An obese child will become an obese adult unless their lifestyle changes. They need encouragement and support, and good role models, and parents play a big role in this. Whether it’s washing the car, taking a walk together or using the stairs
instead of a lift, it’s vital that they see the importance of movement and exercise.’
At the same time there are experts who believe that digital technology isn’t all bad and that doing away with it won’t miraculously fix all these problems. In the 21st century, screen time is just that, time, says the American Academy of Paediatrics, and it’s important that a child’s time is balanced so that no-one lags behind the pace of digital innovation.
Craig Blewett is an associate professor in the Discipline of Information Systems and Technology Department at the University of KwaZulu-Natal. He
is not unsympathetic to parents’ concerns, but he suggests changing the way we think about children’s screen time. ‘Today’s devices are not like the radios and TVs we grew up with. In the past, if a child was spending a lot of time in front of a TV, it was obvious they were doing only one thing – watching TV. Modern devices allow them to do much more than passively watching something.’
That, he believes, is the problem – passive consumption. He says children spent about 3% of the time they are online creating something and 40% or more ‘consuming’ something with very little engagement,
and little to no output. Compare this to creating something or even socialising online. How they spend their time online is therefore as important as how much time they spend online.
To get the balance right and help your child to learn good behaviour, including digital behaviour, begins with us, the parents.
3 ways to teach good screen sense
1. RESPONSIBLE DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP
The internet not only gives us access to the whole world, it also gives the whole world access to us. It is therefore important to have conversations about matters such as online bullying, porn and fake news before giving a child a phone or laptop so that they can learn to think critically about what they hear and read.
2. MAKE REAL CONNECTIONS
During the Covid-19 pandemic, physical distancing is keeping us safe, but it’s important to continue to cultivate social skills that foster sincere interest in others as well as respect and empathy.
3. CREATE A SAFE TECH ZONE
According to experts, the family computer should not be behind closed doors but in the lounge or dining room where you can easily supervise it. Just like you wouldn’t leave your child alone where it isn’t safe, you shouldn’t leave them alone when they’re online. Whether in a shopping mall or a chatroom, they can meet people who intend them harm.
How to encourage offline time
• Turn off all notifications so that they don’t feel compelled to check TikTok or Instagram every two minutes. Instead, agree on set times during the day when they can check updates. (This is a good idea for adults too.)
• Involve them in household activities. Children want
to know how things work, so get them to help prepare dinner or to load the washing machine. If they’re small, it will make them feel grown-up and give you time to bond. Non-tech activities don’t all have to
be fun and games, and physical activity doesn’t always have to be sport. As long as they’re moving and learning.
• Make certain times tech-free time, for instance mealtimes and the time you spend together in the car when taking them to school, sport or friends.
It might not be easy, but they will soon learn if you are consistent and give them your undivided attention during these times. That means no phone for you too.
// 34 // ISSUE ONE 2021
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