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yourSPACE career
MANY TALENTED PEOPLE SHY AWAY
from top jobs and the opportunity to unlock their full potential. Worse, some are oblivious to their own potential and do not even aspire to such positions.
From a psychological point of view, these drawbacks are seeded
in childhood. All of us, even those who will
never admit to feelings of inferiority, had formative relationships that were founded on inferiority in childhood. For instance, because the parent-
child relationship is fundamentally unequal, we learn to look up to
our primary caregivers, which encourages a tendency to see ourselves as inferior. If someone
is then bullied during early socialisation, or is constantly reminded of their limitations, it will exacerbate such feelings of inferiority and reinforce the belief that they are inferior to others.
Even when our potential is affirmed during childhood, for instance, by getting better marks than our classmates, it
is still possible to grow
up feeling that others are equally competent and that our achievements
are undeserving or fraudulent. Many heroic figures, including Albert Einstein and Maya Angelou, felt like impostors when their astonishing work was recognised.
To curb such an ‘inferiority complex’ and overcome feelings of ‘impostorism’, and to ultimately progress to the top, is in itself hard work, but not impossible.
HUMANISE THE WORLD
A distorted perception
of ourselves goes hand
in hand with a distorted perception of others. To remedy this, the French Renaissance philosopher Michel de Montaigne famously stated: ‘On the highest throne in the world, we are seated, still upon
our behinds.’ This is similar to imagining your audience as being naked to stop the jitters associated with public speaking. Both mental pictures allow us to identify the human elements of those in senior positions, such as their imperfections or a simple hangover that stopped them from being
at their best, to soothe our anxieties about our own imperfections and help us feel worthy of top positions ourselves.
OVERCOME FEAR
OF FAILURE
Despite being consciously aware of the fact that we cannot succeed without trying, it is not uncommon to be hesitant to try. Fear
of failure that stems from
a fear of the feelings of shame or embarrassment associated with failing is
the main obstacle here. Even when the application process for a senior position is confidential, fear of
failure can be debilitating. This is because shame and embarrassment are sentiments that lower our own self-esteem, whether others will know of our application or not.
Self-esteem has three foundational pillars:
an assessment of our achievements compared to our same-sex parent, an assessment of our achievements compared to our peers, and whether the love we received as a
FOR YOUR
READING LIST Growing Greatness: 20 Habits that Break Habits by Pepe Marais (Tracey McDonald Publishers)
In this follow-up to Growing Greatness,the co-founder and owner of Joe Public United, takes a more personal approach and tells how he broke 20 self-limiting habits to be able to go further and higher, and to help others to do the same in the process.
child was unconditional or conditional on achievement. To support our self-esteem, having an adult conversation with our parents about
their assessment of our accomplishments compared to their own can put
things into perspective.
If this is not possible due
to, say, the nature of the relationship or geographic distance, psychotherapy
or coaching can be a substitute. Regardless of the route you take, the aim is to stop yourself from comparing yourself to your parents and peers, and to improve your self-esteem
so as to dampen fears associated with failure.
AVOID SCAPEGOATING
A common excuse for
not trying is to blame something or someone outside yourself. You must have heard a colleague say
something like, ‘I would
not get the job because the manager doesn’t like me’ or ‘It’s an affirmative action role. There’s no point in applying.’ While such limitations can exist,
it is important to reflect whether you are using them as scapegoats to avoid internal concerns, such as low self-esteem. Should there really be such an external limitation, it
has to be addressed. You could, for example, discuss relationship issues with
the manager concerned – without bringing emotion into it – with the aim to iron out interpersonal conflict,
or address affirmative-action policies and implications with your HR department. This will also help you
to better understand external limitations that may exist and which cannot be changed.
PRACTISE INCLUSIVITY
Research has proven ‘impostorism’ to affect underrepresented or disadvantaged groups disproportionately. To overcome it requires leaders and senior team members to practise inclusivity by ensuring enough airtime
for everyone in meetings, acknowledging everyone’s contributions, supporting alternative views and engaging in socialisation and activities that include all team members.
Unlocking potential requires self-leadership as well as a lending hand from an inclusive leader. Learning to tap into the potential of others in your team and showing that you can optimise your colleagues’ and team’s performance can also help you to unlock your own potential. M
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